A Balanced Diet Is A Cupcake in Each Hand {Celebrity Post}

My name is Mindy and I am a certified personal trainer and group exercise instructor.  When you read that you probably already got an image in your head what I may look like.  Well she is a personal trainer; she must be thin, lots of muscles, and very in shape.  Not necessarily.  Why you ask?  I have an addiction……..It’s called FOOOOD!  And no I am not talking about “food” like veggies and salads.  I am talking about a big ‘ol fat juicy steak or hamburger, with a side of onion rings and finished off with a big ‘ol piece of cheesecake…………. Or any cake will do.    

 

I will get on a kick; I am going to eat clean.  I have many fitness friends that “eat clean” all the time.  They rave about it, “I love clean eating!”  I on the other hand am taking a bite of my tuna with lettuce and tomato and all I can think is “these people are complete morons!  Do they love clean eating because they have never tasted real food before?!”

It is one of the hardest things to do.  It’s a lot of work, a lot of dedication, a lot of extra preparation time.  I get tired just thinking about it.  It’s great to see the results but come on…………

Seriously one of the hardest things for me is trying to eat healthy meals and still serve meals my whole family will eat.  It just doesn’t happen.  I will end up making two separate meals for the day.  I feel like a little kid being punished for misbehaving, when I sit down to the table with a grilled chicken salad and my family is eating a big greasy piece of pizza.

So obviously that doesn’t work well for me.  The next thing I tell myself is, “well why don’t you eat healthy meals twice a day and then just eat whatever for dinner?!?!”  It’s better than not eating healthy at all right? WRONG!!! Well for me at least.  I do so well all day and then it’s like…………….. Give me everything that I didn’t eat all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what’s a girl to do?  Really?  Be unhappy and eat rabbit food, or get so obese that I cannot get out of my bed?  Neither is an option for me.  You are not going to see me on the next episode of My 600-lb Life!!! That’s why I am constantly at the gym.  Sometimes, lately, twice a day.  I have come to the realization that I will never look like Jillian Michaels or Kate Upton, but I will be the best version of me that’s possible!  If my husband loves me like I am, and if I can love me for me, well then I am one happy girl.  These are some of the jokes at our house…………

 

  

In all seriousness, you can’t just eat whatever you want and be healthy.  But you can also make lifestyle changes that give you the opportunity to indulge in those foods you like.  You can eat whole grain bread instead of white bread, brown rice instead of white rice, turkey bacon instead of regular bacon……….WHAT??  Ok, never touch the bacon……….. That’s just one of those foods you eat and like it because it’s NOT HEALTHY!  So forget about it.

 

My favorite story is when a lady borrowed my calico bean recipe.  It has hamburger, bacon, five kinds of beans, brown sugar, and white sugar......... you name it and it’s in there.  And it’s delicious!  We arrive at her house and she says “I made your beans, but I made them healthy, but they don’t seem to taste the same.  Maybe you can try them and tell me what I did wrong?”  I had to stand there and gag down the worst tasting beans ever, and then politely say “Some foods just taste good because they are not healthy.  Period.” 

So as for me, I will enjoy the foods I want.  I will not enjoy them all the time, but in moderation.  I will instruct others on how to take care of their bodies, and I will give them information on what their bodies need, but I will never tell them not to enjoy what they like.  If you want a chocolate bar one day…… give it to yourself.  If you are at the point in your life that you are actually worrying about it, well you probable deserve one now and then.

 

So if you are struggling with your diet, I encourage you……….. Love yourself and don’t deprive yourself.  Portion control and moderation, that’s the key.  If you want that occasional glass of wine; go for it.  Stay active, go for a walk, and go to a boot camp class (which I teach btw).  There are ways to take care of yourself without being unhappy.  Check out my website www.meformefitness.com or visit me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/meformefitnesswithmindy . I can give you advice on what changes you can make and still be a happy girl (or guy).  Just remember to love yourself.  It’s the only version of you that you can have in this life.  When you learn to love yourself, you will then learn how to better yourself. 

 

Before I am done, one more fact about bacon…………….

Mind your own Tits! {Celebrity Post}

Following our theme on the blog for the next few weeks "FE+MALE= IRON MAN"  and the empowerment of women, here's to our first of (hopefully) many celebrity posts:

 I am constantly being criticized for feeding my child.

Yes, you read that right. 

 

I feed my baby!

 

 

Crazy, right? I face this backlash for the simple fact that

I choose to feed my baby from my breasts.

 

 

Over time, female breasts have become extremely sexualized. While they are great assets that contribute to our romantic endeavors, that is not their primary purpose.

 

 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but female breasts exist purely to feed our children. When I go to feed my child, the furthest thing from my mind is how “hot” I look to those around me while I offer my leaking boob to my screaming child. I can assure you that it is not attractive to either party. Anyone with the perverted misconception that it is a sexual act to gain pleasure from probably shouldn't be around any children to begin with.

 

 

Breast milk is the most perfect food for your baby. That statement shouldn’t be offensive simply because it is a fact. There is nothing man-made that can compare to the nourishment of human breast milk.  That being said, a common misconception is that breastfeeding mama’s look down upon those that choose to formula feed. As long as your baby is fed, that is all that matters.

 

 

 

 I nurse my daughter because it's free, I'm lazy, and I hardly miss out on any sleep!

 

Breastfeeding came easy to me and that's one of the many reasons I chose to stick with it. I feel proud of the fact that my body is able to solely sustain my baby’s life. 

 

 

Mothers often face ridicule for their choice, but they also deal with ridiculous “solutions” that some believe make breast feeding more “acceptable”. Nursing mothers are often directed to the bathroom in order to feed their children or are told to use a cover. Do you think you would enjoy a meal in a public restroom? I’m seriously doubtful. It’s disgusting, smelly, and extremely unsanitary.

 

 

And please, try eating with something covering your head and let me know how well that works for you. Some feel the need to ask, “Why don't you just pump or bring a bottle of formula?”

 

 

This is so frustrating because the person sharing this idea obviously doesn’t realize how much more work pumping involves. And if I wanted to give my child formula, I wouldn't be breastfeeding. Again, this is because I have her best interests at heart, not yours merely because you can't keep yourself from staring. So I will not go out of my way to do these things to make YOU more comfortable.

 

 

 

I am a such a huge advocate for breastfeeding, because it is natural and the best food you can give to your baby. Again, that is a fact. I want people to become more aware of the benefits (for baby AND mama)!

 

 I want them to understand that nursing is something to be proud of! You are nourishing your baby, you are the sole reason they are growing and thriving! And that is something to be proud of, mama! When I post photos of me nursing my youngest, it's not to show off my breasts, but I am trying to get your attention. Why? Because I want to NORMALIZE breastfeeding. I want people to be able to walk by a mother nursing her child and not give it a second thought. The fact that I receive more animosity for feeding my child than a woman does while wearing a bikini is ludicrous.

 

 

The hypocrisy in our culture absolutely amazes me. It is my sincerest hope that we can one day live in a society where breast feeding is universally accepted.

 

But until that happens, if you don't like it, don't look!

 

 

At the end of the day, all mama’s want the same thing;

                            Happy babies and some wine.

Ps. Mind your own tits!

 

 

Written By Amber E.

Amber is happily married to Sargent Quentin of the USMC and the mother to two adorable little girls, Rylee (almost 3) and Harlee (6.5 months). She is a strong breastfeeding advocate, she enjoys eating food without having to share and the glamorous luxury of showering by herself. But since those moments to herself are few and far in between, Amber loves spending her time at the pool or the park with her family.

 

 

 

 

Fries before guys and foods before dudes

First of all, Yes, I mean it.

 

 

There is no man in the world who could convince me that being in a relationship with them is better than spending a special moment with my favorite food(s).

 

I don't care how incredible you man is or may seem to you, at some point, they're going to, or already have, required something of you and quite frankly, I'm just not cut out for that kind of commitment. Food. It never asks anything too complicated of me. I mean, yes, I have to put the container of ice cream back in the freezer once I'm done with it (on the rare occasion that there's any left when I'm finished) or something may need to be warmed up from time to time. Yes, there are things called 'expiration dates'. I guess those are sort of like rules. But don't worry, I still get the upper hand, "Milk, I see that your expiration date was 2 days ago, but because I like to live on the dangerous side, I'm still going to eat you with my cereal."......."Ah-ha, Milk, we meet again. I see now that your expiration date has now passed by two weeks. Well, I think I'll just let you sit in the fridge for just a tad longer. Just to prove that I still have the upper hand in this relationship, plus, I'm too lazy to take care of you right now."

Isn't food going to make me fat? Why, yes, it is. But it's going to do the same thing to you when you're burying your face in a bag of Oreos because your man dumped/cheated on you. So skip the middle and let's just cut to the end--- a relationship

With food.

The plus side of being in a relationship with food? If I don't want to do something,  I DON'T HAVE TO annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there are no repercussions.

I want pizza but don’t feel like going through the hassle of warming up the oven, opening the box, putting it in the oven, timing it, taking it out, cooling it off and then cutting it (I'm exhausted just thinking about it). I don’t have to. BUT I can still get myself some pizza. It’s all just a phone call away. Cool thing is, it comes all prepared, cut and delivered right to my door step.

 I don’t have to be pretty for pizza, I don’t have to change out of my pajamas for pizza, I don’t even have to shave my legs for my pizza.

 

Pizza, well all food, it just understands. There is no getting all dolled up on date nights, there aren’t arguments and the only baby I have to worry about catching from a fun night in is a food baby.

See, the thing with guys is, there’s always competition. You always have to work to keep your man interested. Complicated underwear, working out, shaving everything from your eyebrows down, nails done, hair and make up on point, tickling his pickle from time to time

And lets face it, there's still always that chance that another slime bag of a "woman" is going to be able to get her grimy hands on him still. So lets be clear, someone might try to take my boyfriend/fiancé/husband/girlfriend/wife/etc and they just might be successful at that, but bitches know better than to touch my food.

One of the VERY obvious perks of being in a relationship with food is that I can indulge in whatever I want whenever I want without the name calling.

Now try doing that with men and see how well that works out for you.

 

The feeling of being full trumps the feeling of love any day. I mean, what kind of crazy says something like this?

Justin's obviously never had a good slice of cheese cake.

I mean, everyone around me is getting boyfriends/girlfriends or getting married and I'm just getting a divorce over in my little time vortex of a home and trying to solve some pretty serious issues that I've been having. Like not having enough fingers.

 

Another perk of food not requiring me to be high maintenance? Alternative ways to losing weight.

How easy is that?!

 

Well, I guess that if you tried farting in front of your man there's a chance that you could lose some weight...like 200lbs or so. Because he could be so grossed out that he would dump your tuchas.

 

Going to the bar is a real drag too. I mean, can't guys just understand that I'm there for a night with my girls and the free stuff.  Buying me drinks its nice and all, but what I really came here for is the free food.

 

Sometimes you get lucky and the guy will not only buy you the cheese sticks, but he wont stick around to help eat them either. Those are the best kinds of guys.

 

 

 

So the next time you're tempted to say "yes" to that cute guy that you've had your eye on for awhile, remember this:

FOOD TASTES BETTER THAN TEARS

 

 

Tell that loser

 

And then go home and treat yourself to a stuffed crust pizza, because you, Honey, just dodged a bullet!