Mind your own Tits! {Celebrity Post}

Following our theme on the blog for the next few weeks "FE+MALE= IRON MAN"  and the empowerment of women, here's to our first of (hopefully) many celebrity posts:

 I am constantly being criticized for feeding my child.

Yes, you read that right. 

 

I feed my baby!

 

 

Crazy, right? I face this backlash for the simple fact that

I choose to feed my baby from my breasts.

 

 

Over time, female breasts have become extremely sexualized. While they are great assets that contribute to our romantic endeavors, that is not their primary purpose.

 

 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but female breasts exist purely to feed our children. When I go to feed my child, the furthest thing from my mind is how “hot” I look to those around me while I offer my leaking boob to my screaming child. I can assure you that it is not attractive to either party. Anyone with the perverted misconception that it is a sexual act to gain pleasure from probably shouldn't be around any children to begin with.

 

 

Breast milk is the most perfect food for your baby. That statement shouldn’t be offensive simply because it is a fact. There is nothing man-made that can compare to the nourishment of human breast milk.  That being said, a common misconception is that breastfeeding mama’s look down upon those that choose to formula feed. As long as your baby is fed, that is all that matters.

 

 

 

 I nurse my daughter because it's free, I'm lazy, and I hardly miss out on any sleep!

 

Breastfeeding came easy to me and that's one of the many reasons I chose to stick with it. I feel proud of the fact that my body is able to solely sustain my baby’s life. 

 

 

Mothers often face ridicule for their choice, but they also deal with ridiculous “solutions” that some believe make breast feeding more “acceptable”. Nursing mothers are often directed to the bathroom in order to feed their children or are told to use a cover. Do you think you would enjoy a meal in a public restroom? I’m seriously doubtful. It’s disgusting, smelly, and extremely unsanitary.

 

 

And please, try eating with something covering your head and let me know how well that works for you. Some feel the need to ask, “Why don't you just pump or bring a bottle of formula?”

 

 

This is so frustrating because the person sharing this idea obviously doesn’t realize how much more work pumping involves. And if I wanted to give my child formula, I wouldn't be breastfeeding. Again, this is because I have her best interests at heart, not yours merely because you can't keep yourself from staring. So I will not go out of my way to do these things to make YOU more comfortable.

 

 

 

I am a such a huge advocate for breastfeeding, because it is natural and the best food you can give to your baby. Again, that is a fact. I want people to become more aware of the benefits (for baby AND mama)!

 

 I want them to understand that nursing is something to be proud of! You are nourishing your baby, you are the sole reason they are growing and thriving! And that is something to be proud of, mama! When I post photos of me nursing my youngest, it's not to show off my breasts, but I am trying to get your attention. Why? Because I want to NORMALIZE breastfeeding. I want people to be able to walk by a mother nursing her child and not give it a second thought. The fact that I receive more animosity for feeding my child than a woman does while wearing a bikini is ludicrous.

 

 

The hypocrisy in our culture absolutely amazes me. It is my sincerest hope that we can one day live in a society where breast feeding is universally accepted.

 

But until that happens, if you don't like it, don't look!

 

 

At the end of the day, all mama’s want the same thing;

                            Happy babies and some wine.

Ps. Mind your own tits!

 

 

Written By Amber E.

Amber is happily married to Sargent Quentin of the USMC and the mother to two adorable little girls, Rylee (almost 3) and Harlee (6.5 months). She is a strong breastfeeding advocate, she enjoys eating food without having to share and the glamorous luxury of showering by herself. But since those moments to herself are few and far in between, Amber loves spending her time at the pool or the park with her family.

 

 

 

 

Chesticles ( . ) ( . )

Cadillac Bumper Bullets, Love Apples, Tig ol’ Bitties, Knockers, Meat Puppets, Gedoinkers, Dairy Section.... In case you haven’t guessed what I am referring to by now, its BOOBS.

 

You know, the lumps of tissue that hang off of a woman’s chest that a man never quite gets over and that women compare in size to another woman’s to make themselves feel better or worse about themselves. Apparently having them is considered to be some sort of magic power

Well, speaking as someone who has been “blessed” with giant knockers since my 14^th birthday, THEY'RE NOT. Here are just a few reasons why:

 

 

1.     There’s usually more sweat between my yabos than anywhere else on my entire body.

 

 

2.     I don’t think I’ve eaten a single meal in my entire like that my breasts haven’t eaten more of.

              

 

3.      Larger sized bras are EXPENSIVE and usually ugly. I can pretty much bet that when I see a cute bra at the store that they stop at D’s.

Not to mention that mine differ drastically in size... like 1.5 cups different, to be exact. So please explain to me how I am not only supposed to find a bra that is bigger than the average size, but one that will also not eat my small boob alive and yet keep my large one in place?

While we’re on the topic of bras, have you seen what is passing for one now a days?

 



Personally, I like not having to wear one. I am like the big bad wolf when it comes to putting one on; I huff and I puff and hope to find a way to get out of whatever bra wearing task I have to accomplish.

 

MEN WEAR BRAS FOR A WEEK

 4. Exercising is HARD. PAINFUL. NOT WORTH IT.

By the time I “strap” these ladies down, I’ve got on a regular bra, 2 sports bras and sometimes even an ace bandage and yet they STILL have a mind of their own!

I mean, Katy Perry gets it

 

 

5. BACK PAIN. Enough said.

Side Note: Just in case you were wondering, Annie Hawkins-Turner has the world’s largest natural breasts on record. They measure 70 inches around, 43 inches under, and would technically be supported in a 48V bra, if they made that size.

 

 

If men were allowed to have BOOBS

What would they do?

 

They would make every woman get a third... and then a fourth. Because, why stop at two?!

 

Not to say that we women don't find them to be a distraction either....

 

Of course there's the bad too... Sometimes my big ol' mammary glands get in the way and then suddenly I know what a T-Rex feels like

 

Women, lets take a vote:

 

Do we view a man's boobs to be as sensual as they view ours?

 

 

Here's a little trick for the next time you catch a man staring at your chesticles. Because lets face it, with boobs big or small, men stare at them all.

 

For now, I'm going to leave you with a disturbing list of a few celebrities, male and female, that have more than two breasts/ nipples!

1. Lilly Allen
   
    
2. 
   
   Harry Styles - He actually has FOUR
   
3. Carrie Underwood 
   
4. And last but not least, Mark Wahlberg
   

 

 

 

 

Sources:

- http://www.buzzfeed.com/kimberleydadds/7-celebrities-who-are-in-the-triple-nipple-club

- http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/boob-truth-talk#.itMmzkGEx1