The Lazy Girl's Beauty Guide pt1

Let's face it, if there was an award for being the laziest, I would more than likely win it.... and then someone else to go pick it up for me.

So, obviously when it comes to my beauty, I'm no different. Before I had kids, the amount of time I spent getting ready was ridiculous. By the time I showered, let my hair air dry for a bit so that blow drying it wouldn't take an hour, blow dried, straightened and pinned up my hair. Then did my 7 layers of primer, foundation, powder and bronzer, blush, eye shadow, liner, and 15 coats of mascara... I felt like I had lost most of the day. But to be honest, I didn't do much with my day, so that fact did't matter to me. Now, I'm lucky if I'm able to brush my teeth and throw on some brown eye liner in the 2.5 seconds I can afford to dedicate to my "beauty" routine. Also, when I say "afford", I mean, that I am a severe cheap ass who CANNOT justify spending loads of money on products either. I have a hard enough time spending $6 on my drug store mascara that I only buy every couple of months. 

So I have found my own tips and tricks to make drug store and dollar store make up work to my advantage!

Due to the lack of time and energy that I get to spend on myself, I have developed some pretty fool proof ways to get shiznit done. Now remember, before you say, "ewwwww", just remember, I am a single mama of two babies ages 1 and under. And while I realize that I am not the only one in this situation and that there are others who "have it worse", that doesn't change the fact that I am tired (and lazy) when it comes to taking care of me. My kids do not nap at the same time, they do not eat at the same time, they're up randomly throughout the night. My daughter has a gluten sensitivity and both of my kids are lactose intolerant. So on the rare occasion that I DO get a moment to myself, the LAST thing I want to do is dye my hair, shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows, paint my nails, etc. What I really want to do (and more times than not end up doing) is a "netflix and chill" session with a bowl of alcohol and a cup of junk food (yes, you read that correctly).

So here you have it, 
The Lazy Girl's Beauty Guide 101:

1. Shaving your legs less : In the shower when you're shaving your legs they're all smooth and silky... and then you have to rise your conditioner out. Which causes goose bumps, which causes your hair to grow back... There's almost nothing worse that getting out of the shower and applying moisturizer to your freshly shaven legs just to have them be picky again. So, here's the trick: at the moment you are getting the goosebumps, shave again! I have super sensitive skin, so to shave on anything other than a well lathered leg is a guarantee that I'm going to be getting razor burn, BUT I shave my legs, then use that bubbly loofah to exfoliate my entire body. Then I start rinsing off my shoulders first, which stimulated to goosebumps AND leaves you soapy enough to still shave my legs as the suds run down your body. Boom, smooth legs that last for at least a day longer.

2. Longer time between washing your hair : I've never been one to jump on the Dry Shampoo band wagon. Mainly because I have dark hair and I hate the feeling on products in my hair. But also, I felt that it left my hair feeling dirtier than it was before I applied it. So, here's the trick: Shampoo your hair twice and condition once. The first shampoo washes off the past build up and the second one washes the existing oils out and purifies your hair, that's why the second time your hair will be sudsier. BUT when you are conditioning, only apply it about 2 inches from your scalp and down and let it sit in your hair while you shave your legs and lady bits. When you get out of the shower, give a little more care to your roots when combing your hair and try not to use your hands as much as possible. Your skin carried natural oils (also any residue from applying moisturizer) that can transfer to your hair. Same goes for the day to day, the more you play with your hair, the more oil you transfer. I can usually go about a week in between my washing by applying these techniques.

3. Styling your unwashed hair : There are a few ways that you can go about doing this. Of course the most famous and the one that we love the best is The Mombie bun! But if you're feeling a little fancier than that, you can always tease it with a front twist or tease and use a headband to push it back (I used my own hair in a braid as the headband in the picture below). Dirtier hair holds a tease better! This is my all time favorite go-to hairstyle when I want to actually do something with myself. Examples:

 

In both of these photos, it had been about a week since I had washed my hair!

4. Baby wipesssss : whether you have kids or not, you're missing out if you use anything other than baby wipes in your beauty routine. I use them to clean my brushes, take off my make up, wash my hands after applying makeup. Gosh, I use them for everything like cleaning my car, kids, house, bathroom, excessive make up and horribly drawn on eyebrows found on a women's face while in public...... 

They're cheap and gentle on your skin. There are even organic and alcohol free. Plus, they take off waterproof makeup without the struggle and do not leave the oil residue.Plus, they can do all of that without drying out your skin or breaking your lashes! I mean, we've all been there a time or two when we've forgotten that we have make up on and then this happens....

Bet you wished you had a wipe on you then!

Post To Be Continued...

That One Time I Fed My Kids Brains

As a Mombie, our kids literally suck the brains right out of us. I know that this can happen to both parents- The Moms and the Dads- but I think that we can all agree that it is something that happens most frequently to us Mombies. I mean, they do call it "pregnancy brain" and "mom brain" after all.

My kids have been eating my brains since long before they were born. The pregnancy insomnia caused me to be tired and then being tired caused me to forget. I found myself putting milk in the cabinets and cereal in the laundry room. Once, when my brother came to stay with us (I had a 5 month old and was a little over 8 weeks pregnant again) , he asked me where the bowls were. And instead of telling him, "in the dishwasher" I responded with, "noodle". 

To follow along with that, we decided to throw my son a "zombie" first birthday party. Since he hypothetically ate (and continues to eat) my brains on a daily basis, why not let him dive face first into some gooey brains on camera?

So, as a single mama of two kids 1 and under AND today being Monday, the "Mom brain" is hitting me hard or as my life and my motto go, "My brain is mush and my mush is tired". Anyway, I figured we would "celebrate" my brain farts by quite literally feeding my kids brains (again). Don't worry, I did a step by step to show you how to do it as well!

What you'll need:

-Jello (we used jolly rancher: watermelon)

-Measuring cup

-1c hot water

-3/4c cold water

-Non stick spray

-Pot

-Whisk (not pictured)

-Silicone Brain molds (we found ours on amazon for $3.99+ s&h)

*Prepare jello the same way you would when making jello shots, but replace the alcohol with water*

Wheres the fun in that, right? Well, there's always the option to make these for yourself and KEEP the alcohol in the mix.... I mean, you already look and function like a Walking Mombie, why not consume your alcohol like one too? Cause let's be honest here, when the zombie apocalypse hits, any zombie that dares to eat my brain is definitely going to get a little buzzed through second hand alcohol consumption.. and if they go for my liver too.... let's just say that zombie is going to encounter a major hangover....

Step 1.

Pour the 1 cup of hot water into the pan and bring to a rolling boil

Step 2.

Add the jello to the water. Stir and continue to let Boil until all of the mix is dissolved (about 2 minutes) 

Step 3.

Add the 3/4 cup of cold water. Normal jello calls for 1 cup, but for the purpose of making jello jigglers, we need the jello to be a tad more firm, so to make sure that happens, we need to cut down on the water

Step 4.

Spray the molds with a light coat of the non stick spray to give it a little help when it comes time to removing the brains. Apparently I lost the photo to this step....

Step 5.

Pour the liquid back into the measuring cup so its easier to pour into the mold and begin filling.

Step 6.

Place in refrigerator for 4 hours or until firm (we left ours in over night)

Step 7.

We tried to follow standard jiggler rules and use a knife to loosen the edges of the jello from the molds. It didn't work. We ended up kind of massaging (for a lack of better word) the bottom of the molds, then flipped it over onto the counter and the brains fell right out.

Step 8.

FEED THE MASSES!!

Ladies, Lets get NAKED

When I say "natural beauty", what is the first image that pops into your head? I'm willing to bet that it isn't an image of yourself. 

And that is SAD.

I once read something that said something along the lines of "Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel." and oh, how true is that? I've seen quite a few people who have written off Instagram because of the false sense of perfectionism that can be applied to someone's life. I get it. I find myself looking at other mom pages on there and thinking, "how in the heck do they dress their children in nice clothes every day, cook dinner, clean the house and keep themselves looking presentable at the same time. But then I add these moms on snapchat.... and oh my.... I'll let you in on a little secret:They're just like the rest of us! Chaos, messes and bad days.

Kind of like celebrities:

I am NOT someone who has the energy to get myself around every day. Especially if I'm not going anywhere. Can I get an "AMEN"? Then most of the time when I do actually get to leave the house without the kids, I  DEFINITELY do not have the energy to get myself together. After checking to make sure I don't have food on my face or clothes, I run like hell. But that is the difference between Kailei- pre kids and Kailei- post kids. I wouldn't have been caught dead outside of my house without my hair AND makeup perfect pre kids. Today, I am just happy when the kids and I can complete a shopping trip without any major tantrums or blow out diapers- naked face and all.

There was something I saw shared on facebook that said, "If it takes you more than 30 minutes to get ready, maybe you aren't as pretty as you think you are." Uhhhhh, no. Betch, If it takes me 7 hours to get ready, I am still just as pretty as I think I am. Because ain't no body going to knock on my confidence!

Now with that being said, I agree that some women still have a better grasp on being a "natural beauty" or being "naked faced" than I do. 

Have you ever tried to draw a picture of something and had it turn out like this?

Well, that's basically how my life goes. I watch a contouring tutorial and end up looking like snooki because my entire face is covered in bronzer. Or when I've achieved the perfect eye shadow but then this happens

This can be applied to all areas of my life.

If I want to look good, I've got to work for it.

To quote Mama June

  But even then, in the words of Jenna Marbles, "I have three looks"

The same goes for my hair also.

But seriously, if you were to add up all of the money you spend a month on trying to be a "natural beauty", would you be shocked? Ashamed? I know that the final total will differ from one woman to the next, but no matter how small, there is still a number; mascara, foundation, powder, concealer, hair spray, lip gloss/stick, bras, straightener, curling irons, moisturizers, lotions, perfumes....

Now think about the reason you have, or for most women, need all of those things. When I asked women, their responses were all very similar; "because I need it." "Because I look awful without it" "I would die if I didn't have it" but not a single response had anything to do with themselves. No one said, "I have it because I like to wear it". We all have insecurities, we all have flaws, but honestly, aren't our flaws what make us unique? 

Once my little sister asked me to take my picture and I wouldn't let her because I didn't have my make up on. She was maybe 3 and I was 20. She didn't understand why it mattered, but I told her that I didn't like the way I looked without it and boy, did she give me the craziest look. But up until that exact moment, I  had never thought about how silly it sounded or how ridiculous it was that I was implying to my baby sister, a little girl who had yet to be tainted by ads and the world, that she would eventually not be good enough unless she was wearing make up? 

From that moment on, I always told her differently. When she would want to put on make up because I was too, I always asked her, "why do we wear make up?" and she always responded," not because we need it but because it is fun to put on." 

Think about the influence you're putting out into the world. Are you being a good example to your daughters, sisters, friends, etc?

Give this a thought, if we all boycotted companies that told us that we weren't good enough for the rest of the world because we didn't use their products, how much better of a place would the world be? 

Besides, why is it just women?

Because lets face it: There is no winning. Skinny or Plump. Make up or Natural.

We will always be labeled something by society.

I've asked for some women to volunteer going all natural to show women all over the world that there is beauty in just being Y-O-U! 

Amber

Janice

 Bobbi

Sharon

 Jody

And last but not least, my naked face

Ladies, in 2016 take the time to learn to love your naked face and always remember:

Would you like to be featured in an upcoming blog? Contact us via email wiles.kailei@gmail.com or on instagram: TheWalkingMombiee

How Eating A Candy Bar Made Me A Better Person

“Anyone can have a child and call themselves a “parent”. A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants."

And right here and now, I call BULLSHITTTTTTT.

Lets start this blog off by posting a few parenting basics:

1. No two children are parented the same way
2. Each parent has the right to choose what the best way to raise their child is
3. Pizza IS a suitable dinner to serve on a weekly basis

Now with that being said, putting your child (job, spouse, friends, etc) before yourself all of the time is wrong. I realize that not everyone has a choice to live life this way, but let me shine a little light on this new parenting "trick" that I've recently discovered. This "trick" can be applied to many situations in life, but for the purpose of this post and based off of my life, I'm going to be posting as a mom to my kids but that by no means rules out anyone who isn't a parent!

It's called BEING SELFISH.

Whoaaaaa, did I really just say that?! YES.

Think about it this way: You have two empty cups. One on the left is you and the one of the right signifies something in your life (kids, spouse, job, etc). Now, pick up the cup on the left and pour everything that is in it into the cup on the right. Seems pointless, right? The same thing applies to life. How can you pour encouragement into your children and make a positive impact on their lives if you've got nothing left to give?

Just a few of the reasons that I condone Selfish Parenting:

1. Is the fact that you didn't let your child eat the last candy bar that they just asked for because you've been looking forward to inhaling it in peace after they go to bed going to affect their life in the long run? I don't think so. But will it affect yours? Abso-feckin-lutely. I mean, maybe you had already snuck into the pantry earlier that day and demolished that piece of candy because you were feeling overwhelmed and needed something that was just for you. Sometimes the only thing that helps us make it through the day as a parent is knowing that there is a little treat waiting for us once we're alone. And that's okay. Because in my opinion, sneaking a small pleasure when you get the chance makes you a better person.

2. Because in what way, shape or form is being short with your child(ren), yelling at them or not wanting to be around them because you're exhausted helpful to them in shaping their future. Treating your child(ren) in this way (whether on purpose or unintentionally) only teaches them that they're unimportant or are annoying to you- which I am sure isn't the cause. I know that most parents wake up, rush around to get things around for their day. Drop the kids off at school and day care, head into their stressful job, leave at the end of the day, pick up your child(ren), take them home, feed them, homework, bathe them and then put them so sleep. For stay at home parents, your schedule may look a little different, but just as exhausting. At what point are you supposed to take some time for yourself to relax and unwind? What if your little one has a nightmare or your sleep training child is refusing to sleep? But it is SO essential to make sure that you take some time for yourself where you're not worrying about bills or the kids and their needs or work. I don't care if you have to fake having diarrhea when your significant other gets home just so you can hide out in the bathroom (with a bottle of wine that your strategically placed in there before you S/O got home) for some R&R. 

3. SLEEP TRAINING! I know that there are people who think that letting your child cry it out is neglectful and that it will make your child hate bed time. I

cannot tell you how many times I've heard this statement argued:

But I am here to tell you that done correctly, it is heaven on earth. 

I am VERY aware of the controversy associated with this topic, but this is just my personal experience with Selfish Parenting. I have successfully sleep trained my son who is now almost 20 months and am in the process of training my 8 month old. She's a little more stubborn than my son was, but well get there eventually. But I am someone who NEEDS alone time and since becoming a mother, that time is few and far between. Not even while using the restroom or showering. So, for me, when the kids go to bed that time is MINE. I don't care if I have to stay up until midnight to get a few moments to myself, I am willing to do that because ME TIME is a necessity to my sanity. Boundaries are important and there's no harm in instilling them in your children while they're still young.

I have heard quite a few mothers say, "My kids are the best reason to lose sleep". Cool. I'm glad that works for you. But for me, making sure that my children can put themselves to sleep and are able to stay asleep is important to me. I also make sure that after a certain age, my kids sleep in their own beds as well. I am covered in babies and baby's messes all day, I need to make sure that when night time comes, I am able to unwind and have something to

myself. 

As some of my readers are new, I'll give a little recap on my story: My husband (J) and I tried to have children for 5 years, we tried everything, but due to me being diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) we were told that I was infertile. So with that information along with some personal issues we had been having, we decided to get a divorce after 5years of marriage. Well, one night I decided that it was a good idea to stop over to J's house and lo' and behold, we conceived our son. (Life is funny like that, isn't it?). We decided to get back together for the sake of the baby (Cause that always works out, right? Lol) While I was pregnant, we moved a few times due to J's job. We ended up In Las Vegas, NV around delivery time. Well, as to expect given our circumstance, we fell on rough times again in our relationship. We decided that we were better off as friends and to go our own ways. But then we found out that only 4 months postpartum, I was expecting again. 

After the completely normal stages of shock, we still decided that not being together is what would be best for the babies. So my my son and I moved back to Michigan and J stayed in Vegas due to his job being too amazing to leave. So since being 10 weeks pregnant and my son being 5 months old, its really just been the 3 of us. While J still fully supports us financially, that means that he isn't around to help out with the day to day needs of the kids. My daughter was born early, so I had a newborn as well as an 11 month old. J came back as frequently as he could, but that wasn't very often. So I was run pretty ragged, always putting my babies first. My daughter also had tummy issued which caused her to scream non stop. I was at my wits end.  Well, recently I have been afforded to luxury of J moving back to Michigan temporarily and therefore I am able to have a little more "me time" and OH MY GOSH! I feel like a million bucks. Most of my alone time usually consists of being able to shower alone or being able to stay in bed for an extra hour or so on occasion. But it helps SO much. Me time doesn't have to be all day or cost money. Sometimes its just knowing that after the kids are in bed, you'll get a moment to watch your favorite show on Netflix or to have a glass of wine in a real wine glass instead of taking just a swig or two out of the bottle because you know that you wont get the time to sit down and finish a glass.

"There's a saying that goes, "You can't treat people like shit and then expect them to love you." That applies to yourself also. You can't neglect yourself, your appearance, you hobbies or your needs and then expect to be happy with yourself. 

I am not here to tell you how to live your life or that what worked for me is going to work for you. But what I am telling you is that it IS possible to love your kids, to love your life and to love yourself all at the same time!

So with that being said, today is a clean slate, the first day of a new year. Take 2016 and make it great. Make it something to be proud of and in the end, make sure that you love yourself and BE A PROUD SELFISH PARENT.