Cinco De Mayo and Kids = Alcohol Free

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

Now, for those of you who have no idea what this holiday represents, no worries. I don't either. In the years past I have always just known it as a holiday that I usually didn't remember... Because of tequila....

and let me tell you, bad choices were made...

BUT this year is different (so were the past two, but since I was super pregnant the one and had a new born AND an 11 month old last year, who had time to celebrate ANYTHING?). This year is different because my kids are old enough to participate.... aka notice when I have something and they don't.

My answer to that?

Thats right. I said it. ALCOHOL FREE margaritas.

No worries, make extra, save it for later and then add your poison of choice after that magic hour comes-- BEDTIMMEEE

What You'll Need:

-Blender

-Fruit

-Ice 

-Juice

STEP 1

Cut up your fruit. 

We used frozen strawberries because, well, I had them and lucky for us that we did, because after getting everything around and grabbing the ice tray, I realized that it was empty. In the freezer. Thanks, Mombie Brain.

(we used strawberries, lime juice, tangerines, frozen grapes- not pictured-  and white peaches. No specific reason on any of these choices, they just simply what I had in the fruit basket at the time)

STEP 2

Add it all to the blender. Obviously I needed D's steady hand to make sure the job was done correctly. 

 

STEP 3

Add your juice. 

Because we are a SUPER health conscious family who only eats organic (HA), we use Juicy Juice. Flavor: Apple Raspberry, again, because its what we had on hand.

STEP 4

MIX THOSE SUCKERS UP!!*

*Side Note: my son LOVES the margaritas, but he is TERRIFIED of the blender, So being the awesome mom that I am, I laugh and take a picture, duh.

STEP 5

Serve 'em up! I got these adorable, no leak, glass milk jugs from the $ section at Target! 2/$3. You can't beat it. I LOVE them!

 

KID APPROVED!

Cloak of Invisiblity!

SORRY 

I have been so MIA for so long! Life has been INSANE in my little corner of the earth. 

Teething kids, growing kids, winter weather, starting up a new business, adjusting to life with an additional little in my house. Like I said, its bee NUTS. But now that things have gone back to as normal as they're going to get, I'm going to take off my cloak of invisibility... Or something like that. HAHA.

So, what have I been up to?

Well, I've been THRIVING!

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Honestly, I have NEVER felt better. I am sleeping more restfully, I have lost weight without changing my lifestyle or eating habits, I have more energy, clarity of mind, I am a better mom to my kids.. I am seriously becoming the BEST me I can be. It is AMAZING!

Think it might be something that you'd be interested in learning more about? 

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The Lazy Girl's Beauty Guide pt1

Let's face it, if there was an award for being the laziest, I would more than likely win it.... and then someone else to go pick it up for me.

So, obviously when it comes to my beauty, I'm no different. Before I had kids, the amount of time I spent getting ready was ridiculous. By the time I showered, let my hair air dry for a bit so that blow drying it wouldn't take an hour, blow dried, straightened and pinned up my hair. Then did my 7 layers of primer, foundation, powder and bronzer, blush, eye shadow, liner, and 15 coats of mascara... I felt like I had lost most of the day. But to be honest, I didn't do much with my day, so that fact did't matter to me. Now, I'm lucky if I'm able to brush my teeth and throw on some brown eye liner in the 2.5 seconds I can afford to dedicate to my "beauty" routine. Also, when I say "afford", I mean, that I am a severe cheap ass who CANNOT justify spending loads of money on products either. I have a hard enough time spending $6 on my drug store mascara that I only buy every couple of months. 

So I have found my own tips and tricks to make drug store and dollar store make up work to my advantage!

Due to the lack of time and energy that I get to spend on myself, I have developed some pretty fool proof ways to get shiznit done. Now remember, before you say, "ewwwww", just remember, I am a single mama of two babies ages 1 and under. And while I realize that I am not the only one in this situation and that there are others who "have it worse", that doesn't change the fact that I am tired (and lazy) when it comes to taking care of me. My kids do not nap at the same time, they do not eat at the same time, they're up randomly throughout the night. My daughter has a gluten sensitivity and both of my kids are lactose intolerant. So on the rare occasion that I DO get a moment to myself, the LAST thing I want to do is dye my hair, shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows, paint my nails, etc. What I really want to do (and more times than not end up doing) is a "netflix and chill" session with a bowl of alcohol and a cup of junk food (yes, you read that correctly).

So here you have it, 
The Lazy Girl's Beauty Guide 101:

1. Shaving your legs less : In the shower when you're shaving your legs they're all smooth and silky... and then you have to rise your conditioner out. Which causes goose bumps, which causes your hair to grow back... There's almost nothing worse that getting out of the shower and applying moisturizer to your freshly shaven legs just to have them be picky again. So, here's the trick: at the moment you are getting the goosebumps, shave again! I have super sensitive skin, so to shave on anything other than a well lathered leg is a guarantee that I'm going to be getting razor burn, BUT I shave my legs, then use that bubbly loofah to exfoliate my entire body. Then I start rinsing off my shoulders first, which stimulated to goosebumps AND leaves you soapy enough to still shave my legs as the suds run down your body. Boom, smooth legs that last for at least a day longer.

2. Longer time between washing your hair : I've never been one to jump on the Dry Shampoo band wagon. Mainly because I have dark hair and I hate the feeling on products in my hair. But also, I felt that it left my hair feeling dirtier than it was before I applied it. So, here's the trick: Shampoo your hair twice and condition once. The first shampoo washes off the past build up and the second one washes the existing oils out and purifies your hair, that's why the second time your hair will be sudsier. BUT when you are conditioning, only apply it about 2 inches from your scalp and down and let it sit in your hair while you shave your legs and lady bits. When you get out of the shower, give a little more care to your roots when combing your hair and try not to use your hands as much as possible. Your skin carried natural oils (also any residue from applying moisturizer) that can transfer to your hair. Same goes for the day to day, the more you play with your hair, the more oil you transfer. I can usually go about a week in between my washing by applying these techniques.

3. Styling your unwashed hair : There are a few ways that you can go about doing this. Of course the most famous and the one that we love the best is The Mombie bun! But if you're feeling a little fancier than that, you can always tease it with a front twist or tease and use a headband to push it back (I used my own hair in a braid as the headband in the picture below). Dirtier hair holds a tease better! This is my all time favorite go-to hairstyle when I want to actually do something with myself. Examples:

 

In both of these photos, it had been about a week since I had washed my hair!

4. Baby wipesssss : whether you have kids or not, you're missing out if you use anything other than baby wipes in your beauty routine. I use them to clean my brushes, take off my make up, wash my hands after applying makeup. Gosh, I use them for everything like cleaning my car, kids, house, bathroom, excessive make up and horribly drawn on eyebrows found on a women's face while in public...... 

They're cheap and gentle on your skin. There are even organic and alcohol free. Plus, they take off waterproof makeup without the struggle and do not leave the oil residue.Plus, they can do all of that without drying out your skin or breaking your lashes! I mean, we've all been there a time or two when we've forgotten that we have make up on and then this happens....

Bet you wished you had a wipe on you then!

Post To Be Continued...

That One Time I Fed My Kids Brains

As a Mombie, our kids literally suck the brains right out of us. I know that this can happen to both parents- The Moms and the Dads- but I think that we can all agree that it is something that happens most frequently to us Mombies. I mean, they do call it "pregnancy brain" and "mom brain" after all.

My kids have been eating my brains since long before they were born. The pregnancy insomnia caused me to be tired and then being tired caused me to forget. I found myself putting milk in the cabinets and cereal in the laundry room. Once, when my brother came to stay with us (I had a 5 month old and was a little over 8 weeks pregnant again) , he asked me where the bowls were. And instead of telling him, "in the dishwasher" I responded with, "noodle". 

To follow along with that, we decided to throw my son a "zombie" first birthday party. Since he hypothetically ate (and continues to eat) my brains on a daily basis, why not let him dive face first into some gooey brains on camera?

So, as a single mama of two kids 1 and under AND today being Monday, the "Mom brain" is hitting me hard or as my life and my motto go, "My brain is mush and my mush is tired". Anyway, I figured we would "celebrate" my brain farts by quite literally feeding my kids brains (again). Don't worry, I did a step by step to show you how to do it as well!

What you'll need:

-Jello (we used jolly rancher: watermelon)

-Measuring cup

-1c hot water

-3/4c cold water

-Non stick spray

-Pot

-Whisk (not pictured)

-Silicone Brain molds (we found ours on amazon for $3.99+ s&h)

*Prepare jello the same way you would when making jello shots, but replace the alcohol with water*

Wheres the fun in that, right? Well, there's always the option to make these for yourself and KEEP the alcohol in the mix.... I mean, you already look and function like a Walking Mombie, why not consume your alcohol like one too? Cause let's be honest here, when the zombie apocalypse hits, any zombie that dares to eat my brain is definitely going to get a little buzzed through second hand alcohol consumption.. and if they go for my liver too.... let's just say that zombie is going to encounter a major hangover....

Step 1.

Pour the 1 cup of hot water into the pan and bring to a rolling boil

Step 2.

Add the jello to the water. Stir and continue to let Boil until all of the mix is dissolved (about 2 minutes) 

Step 3.

Add the 3/4 cup of cold water. Normal jello calls for 1 cup, but for the purpose of making jello jigglers, we need the jello to be a tad more firm, so to make sure that happens, we need to cut down on the water

Step 4.

Spray the molds with a light coat of the non stick spray to give it a little help when it comes time to removing the brains. Apparently I lost the photo to this step....

Step 5.

Pour the liquid back into the measuring cup so its easier to pour into the mold and begin filling.

Step 6.

Place in refrigerator for 4 hours or until firm (we left ours in over night)

Step 7.

We tried to follow standard jiggler rules and use a knife to loosen the edges of the jello from the molds. It didn't work. We ended up kind of massaging (for a lack of better word) the bottom of the molds, then flipped it over onto the counter and the brains fell right out.

Step 8.

FEED THE MASSES!!

Ladies, Lets get NAKED

When I say "natural beauty", what is the first image that pops into your head? I'm willing to bet that it isn't an image of yourself. 

And that is SAD.

I once read something that said something along the lines of "Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel." and oh, how true is that? I've seen quite a few people who have written off Instagram because of the false sense of perfectionism that can be applied to someone's life. I get it. I find myself looking at other mom pages on there and thinking, "how in the heck do they dress their children in nice clothes every day, cook dinner, clean the house and keep themselves looking presentable at the same time. But then I add these moms on snapchat.... and oh my.... I'll let you in on a little secret:They're just like the rest of us! Chaos, messes and bad days.

Kind of like celebrities:

I am NOT someone who has the energy to get myself around every day. Especially if I'm not going anywhere. Can I get an "AMEN"? Then most of the time when I do actually get to leave the house without the kids, I  DEFINITELY do not have the energy to get myself together. After checking to make sure I don't have food on my face or clothes, I run like hell. But that is the difference between Kailei- pre kids and Kailei- post kids. I wouldn't have been caught dead outside of my house without my hair AND makeup perfect pre kids. Today, I am just happy when the kids and I can complete a shopping trip without any major tantrums or blow out diapers- naked face and all.

There was something I saw shared on facebook that said, "If it takes you more than 30 minutes to get ready, maybe you aren't as pretty as you think you are." Uhhhhh, no. Betch, If it takes me 7 hours to get ready, I am still just as pretty as I think I am. Because ain't no body going to knock on my confidence!

Now with that being said, I agree that some women still have a better grasp on being a "natural beauty" or being "naked faced" than I do. 

Have you ever tried to draw a picture of something and had it turn out like this?

Well, that's basically how my life goes. I watch a contouring tutorial and end up looking like snooki because my entire face is covered in bronzer. Or when I've achieved the perfect eye shadow but then this happens

This can be applied to all areas of my life.

If I want to look good, I've got to work for it.

To quote Mama June

  But even then, in the words of Jenna Marbles, "I have three looks"

The same goes for my hair also.

But seriously, if you were to add up all of the money you spend a month on trying to be a "natural beauty", would you be shocked? Ashamed? I know that the final total will differ from one woman to the next, but no matter how small, there is still a number; mascara, foundation, powder, concealer, hair spray, lip gloss/stick, bras, straightener, curling irons, moisturizers, lotions, perfumes....

Now think about the reason you have, or for most women, need all of those things. When I asked women, their responses were all very similar; "because I need it." "Because I look awful without it" "I would die if I didn't have it" but not a single response had anything to do with themselves. No one said, "I have it because I like to wear it". We all have insecurities, we all have flaws, but honestly, aren't our flaws what make us unique? 

Once my little sister asked me to take my picture and I wouldn't let her because I didn't have my make up on. She was maybe 3 and I was 20. She didn't understand why it mattered, but I told her that I didn't like the way I looked without it and boy, did she give me the craziest look. But up until that exact moment, I  had never thought about how silly it sounded or how ridiculous it was that I was implying to my baby sister, a little girl who had yet to be tainted by ads and the world, that she would eventually not be good enough unless she was wearing make up? 

From that moment on, I always told her differently. When she would want to put on make up because I was too, I always asked her, "why do we wear make up?" and she always responded," not because we need it but because it is fun to put on." 

Think about the influence you're putting out into the world. Are you being a good example to your daughters, sisters, friends, etc?

Give this a thought, if we all boycotted companies that told us that we weren't good enough for the rest of the world because we didn't use their products, how much better of a place would the world be? 

Besides, why is it just women?

Because lets face it: There is no winning. Skinny or Plump. Make up or Natural.

We will always be labeled something by society.

I've asked for some women to volunteer going all natural to show women all over the world that there is beauty in just being Y-O-U! 

Amber

Janice

 Bobbi

Sharon

 Jody

And last but not least, my naked face

Ladies, in 2016 take the time to learn to love your naked face and always remember:

Would you like to be featured in an upcoming blog? Contact us via email wiles.kailei@gmail.com or on instagram: TheWalkingMombiee